Opinion/Blog The Crack Shack (vent about shit)

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY WAFFLES?

Would you like me to make you some blue waffles?

 

[Fedbuster]

Would you like me to make you some blue waffles?

I DONT WANT NO FUCKING BLUEBERRIES IN MY WAFFLES

 

[kiwifails]

I DONT WANT NO FUCKING BLUEBERRIES IN MY WAFFLES

Chocolate chips maybe but blueberries that's a step too far

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

That person that does art. If they are a women I would want to have sex with them. Their intimate style. The whisk of their brush. Rattles my rectum with upmost arousal. Draw me nude, perverted. Use me as a sex toy. That person seems very deep, even into death stuff. I would love to have sex with them if they have a vagina. Very every good artwork, I will have to have sex with them 10 times. Dark lord is trying to make a comeback. He must be upset at me even though it was not my fault that my nazi ex girlfriend called him a pedophile. All I said was, dark lord was attacked on the internet for pedophile allegations but turned it into actual fact that dark lord was a pedophile. She is probably dead now and I hope so. Waste of space. Piece of shit. Master manipulator. A whore.

The other ex girlfriend of mine deleted her tiktok. What a tragic decision. Maybe even she thinks that suicide is the best option. After all she is a sexually confused women wasting her genes to rub her pink raspberry with another one. Same people by the way that say I'm a disturbed person. Funny coming from women that have dead ends in their lives. It's not my fault they can't get their shit together. One makes way more money than me but wants to kill herself. The other is a 10/10 women that could have given me nudes but instead ghosts me because she gets power swings from doing so.

Same people that complain about their lives but when you offer them advice they refuse to take any of it into consideration. As a person, someone who is expected by society to have a moral standard, I have given these females respect. Shown dignity in my ways. In exchange there is cold darkness from their souls if we can call them that. Nothing of them is human. They stand in their own holes they dig because they are too busy trying to be better than me. Trying to get me riled up in response to their triggering behavior. So deleting your tiktok isn't really a win on your behalf. It shows you are a coward to see what the truth is. Someone who is an adult to own up to their mistakes. How many views were you making? 20,000? You are that insecure about yourself, you had to call it quits because not enough people adored you. Pathetic. You will forever be alone and cry. Starving yourself because you think being petite is going to get you pussy or dick. I never cared for you to do that to yourself. If anything I would have wanted you to eat well, continue making healthy decisions & telling me about your country. No, you told me I was a terrible person. That me asking for simple midriff photos was too much. Grow up. You should know what men want. Depriving them of their sexual needs is wrong and tactical to your feelings. If you asked me to masturbate on webcam for you, I would have done it. If you were in a place outside of home and you were stressed out and you asked me to perform sexual acts on camera to get you all riled up, I would have. You could have seen me cum and I would make sure my cum was thick and sticky so when you see it, you can't help by get wet, super wet. We could have had fun together. Learned about our bodies. Worked toward experiencing some great sex in real life. I wanted to take you down to Florida and we could have lived there. No, you pissed it away because I was horny one night after waiting for two months and I asked for not even a nude, and you fucking ghost me over that. Grow the fuck up, seriously. You will be forever alone. Congrats on achieving nothing you stupid bitch. Thanks for leaking our private conversation and getting nothing out of it you stupid bitch.

The other one. Makes way more money than me but spends huge amounts of it on alcohol and gambling. Great life decisions. very admirable. People like you deserve to be pocket watched. Please go find a high place to jump from. You make no sense. Everyday it's a problem with your life. You are always hateful to people around you. You guilt trip the shit out of me and the discord server. Right now I'm so glad you have been inactive. I can't wait when you tell us to go fuck ourselves and you decide to leave. Fuck off already talking behind my back you stupid bitch. You are a piece of shit. I wish I was never there in the server when you came crying to us about your boyfriend. He knew you were retarded, he knew he could have conned you out of easy sex you stupid bitch. And he knew if you fucked him while drunk you would accuse him of sex so that's why he refused. Women like you are why men are so miserable. So porn addicted. You cause nothing but issues and problems in a relationship all the fucking time. Every day it's a problem. Every day it's the end of the world. Yet when men such as myself try to help you, you don't listen, when we try to talk to you, you fucking ghost and become inactive. Fucking kill yourself you snake, you are a player, a schemer, a grifter. No body fucking loves you. If you really cared about your siblings you would be doing way better and I know, I fucking know you will never beat this addiction. You are so fucked and unfixable. You have fucked up your mind and body to the point it would literally take you half a decade to replenish your brain and your organs. You are so fucked you stupid bitch you just need to fucking leave my life for good. Fuck off already, go away, go get beat up by another piece of shit. You have no life, you have only an end that's near. You achieve nothing.

People ask me where I get these people from. I couldn't tell you but they are fucking awful people. Always somebody else in their eyes. Nothing about them is changeable. They refuse to change. No help can be given because they just piss it away. I really fucking wish I never have to deal with this shit again but sometimes I'm so optimistic I get shot down thinking to myself that if it has happened to me this many times already, it will happen again. I feel so alone and fucking cold bro. I'm nude with no blanket over me. I remember one time I was watching porn, I almost simped for this one girl who had hardly any followers. She was beautiful, her body wasn't dimensional which I didn't care for her but her plump little pink pussy was so rich in it's own. I wanted to lick it and slowly pop her cherry and she moaned and cried "please, I'm cold, hold me, my bf, please I'm cold" fingering herself. I would have fucked her, cuddled her kissed her, held her. I love me a pink plump pussy and can just pop like bubble wrap. No, I get whores, BPD whores with problems every fucking time and it makes no sense to me ever that they can be this problematic.

I wish they would just grow up. They are adults and act like fucking children man. They always call men immature but what they do is so childish and fake. The way they handle relationships are garbage. It's always the guy, always the boyfriend being the fucking problem. Never them, they are so perfect and could never do any wrong. It's always me because I'm either a sexual emotional man or I'm just so fucking below them, they forget about me real quick. Fuck them, they will die alone.

 

[kiwifails]

View attachment 79900

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

What place are you my dear? Has my garden welcomed you in any way? Shadows falling in the form of rain. Rainbows during a modest sunset. Cotton candy, sugar drops, & vanilla. Perfume of it's glory. Substance of just the tickles. Every night sky gaze even in the cold wind there you are somewhere. Millions of miles but so close. Warmth over my pain. More virgin than wine. Fertile, so fertile you are to shower life and future integrity. Always wondering where you stand. Life is so strange. There are nights me and you look up at the crescent thinking about each other and we don't even know it. Your existence is mysterious and the day I hear your name from your voice I'm seduced. What are you doing in this segment of time mad'am? Nightly walks near the trees perhaps.

Time rifting in our own minds yet the storms always felt more friendlier as it in it's own progressed onward. Art in every shape to me, colors beyond what I can witness. The day, that sunny day like crystals on the blue. Wind, a breeze, no distraction. I will feel so guilty for no reason. In shock and confusion but there are many of you. Alone, cold, in a dark space. But nothing can be of a void at all, never. It just doesn't stay. The fog comes to the sky. Morning dew goes to come soon again. That void so dark comes too eventually but the friendly kind. Oh dearest the dreams I've dreamt, trying to compute your appearance. Euphoria. No. My dear. Emotions I'm virgin to. Never felt.

Honey sooth to me. A place never visited. Kenopsia. Liminal to some domain. Eerie but never anxious of any. Grey, teasing color. Though never depressed. Playground beyond vision that it goes beyond. Unlimited play, forever cuddles and sleep. Kisses, sugar, your oh so many touches to me. But even then I feel guilty to lay my fingers on your flesh. Feel so guilt and undeserving to look at the vessels where your blood runs to know you are in physical anatomy in front of me. Just become one with me. No need for intercourse or even those cute kisses. Just become one with me.

There are no decades my dear. No such thing. The concept is silly, any measurement is ignored. Geometry is all we see and stone work of the Cosmos, stone work beyond the cosmos. Marble and sacred tile. A body that is yours that is so soft and warm. Every morning there you are, on top of me. Beyond a women yes you are. Even better than a high school sweetheart. Even better than being best friends of our childhood and then learning about what adults can do as we grow. This my dear, it's what you know of and what I know of. No bed can define what a romance does on it. No lighting, temperature. No science. Nothing. This is us. We are our own formula our own candy ever so sweet.

Every second we love make, millions of reactions inside of us. Our breathing, the heat on our cheeks, and stimulation. But nothing can ever define the flavors I taste of you for every second of your existence.

One day oh yes.

 

[unyuns]

unyuns thinkering to for unyuns lifes sad. unyuns readering postuals right for here. now.
sad sad sadderest sad unyuns ever did saw see. the so lonelys that his jerkers to self is publick knowerings.
unyuns will be OKIE DOKIE FINE. nub rub guy no.

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

What's wrong with you people? Did it really fly up your ass about my tomato story? You just want attention. Yes, I want to be spanked but who doesn't during a good night? Getting popped on my ass by some masculine women. Would make my penis explode. This is nigger shit. People complaining, guilt tripping me about my desire for a sex palace. Clearly this is a gathering in the town where I have shit thrown at me. Zelda Ocarina of time is my game, all I do is play that and I'm harassed because I enjoy some Zelda booty. I would fuck her right in her plump ass, and keep her plump pussy for later when I want to jam my cock into it. You people should really try the hero complex. After all, most of you have some issue releasing some tension. Just grab a princess by the pussy and grope her breast. Pin her down and pump her with all your anger. I want to have sex with forest nymphs and fairies. I want to walk into a forest and ravage them all.

Take mushrooms that make my penis erect for 24 hours and dick down anything that moves in the majestic forest. I would even fuck a tree vagina, slab my penis against the rocks, take it up the ass by some insect female creature that enjoys putting her limbs in my ass. I want to be rim jobbed by a spider women or perhaps a moth women. Who needs humans? When I can have a whole forest of creatures to fuck. You people would never understand how much tension you can release when you dick down creatures in a forest. I don't fuck ponies like @Peppermint Swirl . I fuck cats like that person with the cat profile picture. I fuck skeleton women as I presume to be that person that posted their art. Maybe I am playing too much Ocarina of time and need a break from it. Every time I see princess Zelda I keep touching myself constantly. I keep thinking about how I was banging the ex wife of the dude who keeps judging me about my vents. he needs help, he needs a vacation. He hates his job, has trouble getting his dick wet so he takes it out on me because I enjoy exploring my sexuality.

This website needs more emotes or whatever you call them. Bro man can get a freelancer to make emotes or do what discord does and download your own and modify them based on a positive reaction or negative reaction. So for example if I see a post, I can put an emerald emote as a gesture of pureness to that person. Honestly though, if I won the lottery I would buy this site and then give it to a hot nerd babe that sucks me off while I play Ocarina of Time. She wouldn't be your average reddit bitch or forum queen. She would be right down to business under my watch. Every time she does something cool for this site, I ram her tight ass, every time she fails my expectations, I spank her.

Because listen bro, if you want to really crack some eggs. Become a sugar daddy, buy a forum from some 60 year old man so he can enjoy a peaceful retirement, put some nerd babe in charge with internet experience, then have her suck your dick because you are in charge. Women aren't all that stupid, sometimes you just need to have them suck you off, then tell them what they want to hear, then you give them some good dick when they run a website the right way. Nothing like a secretary running a website full of niggers getting upset at vents such as my vents. I would give that women a rim job if she somehow made this site explode with traffic, programmed it or had some indians program it so we don't feel like we are in the 1920s.

But hey who am I to judge. I have trouble understanding HTML. I was made fun of because I couldn't code a site. People made fun of me, called me gay and stupid. So if I win the powerball, do expect a hot nerd babe with rocking tits to run this site good or I'm jamming her in the ass for 10 hours until she gets it right. I won't use lube, it'll be all dry and shell beg me to stop but I won't so when she sits in the office chair and continues to run the site I own, she will do it right, she will make fun of the dude who makes fun of me even though he doesn't have custody of his kids because he isn't a man or a good dad. Poor dude, maybe if he wasn't busy jerking off to actresses he would have his shit together.

Nobody reads these

 

[fakenews]

Nobody reads these

Fake news...I read it. ALL of it.

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

you helped me take a good shit

How much semen came out?

GOT EEEEEEEM

 

[kiwifails]

@YandereTheory

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

she needs a good anal session from me

And how long will you be letting her peg you during this anal session?

GOT EEEEEEEM AGAAAAAAAIN!!!

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

Is it weird that I ejaculate on the mulch of my flowers?

 

[unyuns]

So much vagina, so much virgin tight pink vagina needing a man such as my self to open the flood gates. I'm not a fuck boy, I do not want to have intercourse with strangers. I just want to have intercourse with a 1000 of my soulmates

whore

 

[kiwifails]

she needs a good anal session from me

I don't care about this

 

[kiwifails]

to be honest

me neither

Feel better?

 

[Yandere_Theory]

How come every body gets to have bumper stickers on their accounts? As a non-human humanoid I find this discriminatory. I should have sex mod under my account in pink labeling. I'm really the only one contributing to this thread so I should be able to jannie it. Floridian middle aged divorced man keeps preventing that from happening. Really, what is his problem? It's not my fault his ex-wife wanted me to bang her on the tennis court. She was the one that came on top me and said my four inch was harder than his. I was in confusion, she sucked my dick and told me to put it in her. I put it in the wrong hole but she said that was okay but it hurt so I out it in the other hole. Then she started screaming and getting all riled up. She had be pounding her on the net and calling me coach.

Anyways. Yes, I am a non-human humanoid person with a penis. I am of the belief I came to this planet from some galaxy to mate with white women. I do not know what planet I came from, but I am a non-human humanoid demanding that I get my own bumper sticker below my profile. How come the women with the cat profile gets a bumper sticker? I mean nothing against it, I'm in support of her but how come I can't be a sex mod in my own thread? It's not like I'm getting a blow job for writing out my stories. Instead of Baby Onion, I want sex creature. I am a creature, I am not a human, I am a non-humanoid human that is very sexual.

Floridian man keeps bulling me because I pounded his ex wife. I don't understand. Shouldn't he be golfing or working his dad bod job? Floridian men are strange. They blame others for their divorce situation. But let's be fair. I'm just saying his ex wife has some interesting pussy. I never knew a middle aged womens vagina could do the tricks they do. But I don't understand why she kept calling me coach. Then she told me to bang her harder. Whatever that meant. Is she on the morning after pill? Shouldn't matter, I am a non-human humanoid and I'm pretty sure I need to upgrade my semen to make a female pregnant.

Anyways. I have been thinking really hard about the religion rose wants me to join. I wonder who this women is that want's to be my girlfriend. I hope she doesn't read these stories I make. Maybe she already knows I'm a non-human humanoid and is interested in understanding how my asshole works. My asshole is normal, I just shit different colors. If I eat a fruit, I shit rainbows. But it would be cool if Rose dressed up like one of those german dudes from 1945 and ordered her servants who are females, to peg me as she pleads that I address her as goddess rose as her boyfriend calls me a faggot as I'm being plowed by 4 women with strapons. Hopefully that will convince rose to give me 1000 virgin wives. Many with BPD, mental problems, nerdy, emo, goth, weird, disturbed, yandere.

I wonder if Rose would make a dungeon for me so her servants can use me as a toy. It would be cool if Rose found a girl that refuses to shower only once a week and I'm forced to have sex with her. The smell of a women makes me squirm. I want to be pegged, rim jobbed and spat on like some creature. I want Rose to order me to fuck her servants as her boyfriend screams faggot at me. I want her servants to pull down my pants and laugh at my penis. For some reason, women laughing at my penis makes me blush. I know I'm small but if there was a group of women that pulled down my pants and my penis popped out, and they started laughing, I would blush and jiggle.

Anyways. That floridian man is upset because I'm the one to come out of the closet about my BDSM fettish. His ex wife told me she would ride me while I was chained down and spank my ass. She also said she would stick toys in my ass and rim me. His ex wife is interesting. I never knew tennis pussy would be so good, then again I never understood why she called me coach. Maybe he needs a friend. He is alone deep down watching movies alone, eating mexican chips and drinking beer. Deep down, he knows he misses his wife, deep down, he misses the sex dungeon in the basement they had. He misses being pissed on and called beetlguese. Poor guy, he's in his 40s and can't admit he is into BDSM.

How is everyone. Also I should have my moderator status as a sex creature in pink labeling. It's only fair. After all Ken does put on his site that I can roll with the onions as a Non-human humanoid. The only thing I would need from Rose is that I can date the servants and play Zelda Ocarina of time with them. I have porn films in my closet. Zelda porn under my mattress next to my peyote. Honestly, I should be pegged for that as I'm already breaking the rules of the rose religion. I would want the servants to come to my house and possess my porn material and ban me from porn. Then I be spanked by her servants as her boyfriend screams faggot at me.

Anyways. That ex-wife of his. I was the beetleguese of her beetlegeuse. When I was banging her in a graveyard, she kept screaming. "Rise from the dead!, Rise from the dead!" For some reason I ejaculated so much into her. Then she said. "You remind me of my ex husband when he was much younger, when his penis worked". I was confused until I came on here and saw this floridian man bully me for being a non-human humanoid creature. Deep down he's hiding it. He's hiding the BDSM films they made together in the sex dungeon. The films were him taking strapons up his ass as she was screaming beetleguese more than three times.

How is everyone? I forget to ask. How shitty. sorry

did you see rose at the graveyard?

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

How come every body gets to have bumper stickers on their accounts? As a non-human humanoid I find this discriminatory. I should have sex mod under my account in pink labeling. I'm really the only one contributing to this thread so I should be able to jannie it. Floridian middle aged divorced man keeps preventing that from happening. Really, what is his problem? It's not my fault his ex-wife wanted me to bang her on the tennis court. She was the one that came on top me and said my four inch was harder than his. I was in confusion, she sucked my dick and told me to put it in her. I put it in the wrong hole but she said that was okay but it hurt so I out it in the other hole. Then she started screaming and getting all riled up. She had be pounding her on the net and calling me coach.

Anyways. Yes, I am a non-human humanoid person with a penis. I am of the belief I came to this planet from some galaxy to mate with white women. I do not know what planet I came from, but I am a non-human humanoid demanding that I get my own bumper sticker below my profile. How come the women with the cat profile gets a bumper sticker? I mean nothing against it, I'm in support of her but how come I can't be a sex mod in my own thread? It's not like I'm getting a blow job for writing out my stories. Instead of Baby Onion, I want sex creature. I am a creature, I am not a human, I am a non-humanoid human that is very sexual.

Floridian man keeps bulling me because I pounded his ex wife. I don't understand. Shouldn't he be golfing or working his dad bod job? Floridian men are strange. They blame others for their divorce situation. But let's be fair. I'm just saying his ex wife has some interesting pussy. I never knew a middle aged womens vagina could do the tricks they do. But I don't understand why she kept calling me coach. Then she told me to bang her harder. Whatever that meant. Is she on the morning after pill? Shouldn't matter, I am a non-human humanoid and I'm pretty sure I need to upgrade my semen to make a female pregnant.

Anyways. I have been thinking really hard about the religion rose wants me to join. I wonder who this women is that want's to be my girlfriend. I hope she doesn't read these stories I make. Maybe she already knows I'm a non-human humanoid and is interested in understanding how my asshole works. My asshole is normal, I just shit different colors. If I eat a fruit, I shit rainbows. But it would be cool if Rose dressed up like one of those german dudes from 1945 and ordered her servants who are females, to peg me as she pleads that I address her as goddess rose as her boyfriend calls me a faggot as I'm being plowed by 4 women with strapons. Hopefully that will convince rose to give me 1000 virgin wives. Many with BPD, mental problems, nerdy, emo, goth, weird, disturbed, yandere.

I wonder if Rose would make a dungeon for me so her servants can use me as a toy. It would be cool if Rose found a girl that refuses to shower only once a week and I'm forced to have sex with her. The smell of a women makes me squirm. I want to be pegged, rim jobbed and spat on like some creature. I want Rose to order me to fuck her servants as her boyfriend screams faggot at me. I want her servants to pull down my pants and laugh at my penis. For some reason, women laughing at my penis makes me blush. I know I'm small but if there was a group of women that pulled down my pants and my penis popped out, and they started laughing, I would blush and jiggle.

Anyways. That floridian man is upset because I'm the one to come out of the closet about my BDSM fettish. His ex wife told me she would ride me while I was chained down and spank my ass. She also said she would stick toys in my ass and rim me. His ex wife is interesting. I never knew tennis pussy would be so good, then again I never understood why she called me coach. Maybe he needs a friend. He is alone deep down watching movies alone, eating mexican chips and drinking beer. Deep down, he knows he misses his wife, deep down, he misses the sex dungeon in the basement they had. He misses being pissed on and called beetlguese. Poor guy, he's in his 40s and can't admit he is into BDSM.

How is everyone. Also I should have my moderator status as a sex creature in pink labeling. It's only fair. After all Ken does put on his site that I can roll with the onions as a Non-human humanoid. The only thing I would need from Rose is that I can date the servants and play Zelda Ocarina of time with them. I have porn films in my closet. Zelda porn under my mattress next to my peyote. Honestly, I should be pegged for that as I'm already breaking the rules of the rose religion. I would want the servants to come to my house and possess my porn material and ban me from porn. Then I be spanked by her servants as her boyfriend screams faggot at me.

Anyways. That ex-wife of his. I was the beetleguese of her beetlegeuse. When I was banging her in a graveyard, she kept screaming. "Rise from the dead!, Rise from the dead!" For some reason I ejaculated so much into her. Then she said. "You remind me of my ex husband when he was much younger, when his penis worked". I was confused until I came on here and saw this floridian man bully me for being a non-human humanoid creature. Deep down he's hiding it. He's hiding the BDSM films they made together in the sex dungeon. The films were him taking strapons up his ass as she was screaming beetleguese more than three times.

How is everyone? I forget to ask. How shitty. sorry

 

[Aqua Teen Hathaway Force]

I saw your mom at the graveyard

Hey now. Too far!

 

[unyuns]

I saw your mom at the graveyard

unyuns losering to virginity you mother.