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Music to Wake Up to (Merged)

Give me the 'Master of the Welcome Wagon' trophy

To the spiritually bankrupt and decadent administration of Kiwi Farms ; I am fully capable and willing to welcome newbies. You have seen me demonstrate my ability to welcome newbies in the past. I therefore demand that you immediately and without concession award me the 'Master of the Welcome...
kiwifarms.net kiwifarms.net

Behold this was totally me, and not some random guest account. For how long have I predicted this outcome?

The world will never know, but there's other spazzy things to dig up about Chris Chan calling himself literally Jesus.

Also I love you all so be careful on the interwebs.

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Only You can save a frog from a spider's lies if you achieve the coveted spot of being my daughter. Only ever 4 shall there be. No more, no less.
 
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Kiwifarms has to learn they aren't the best greifers, Onionfarms is the best griefers. Cause we lol care.

Also, I'm a Steward, I'm an Arbiter, I'm a Judge.

Members are the jury, and staff are the prosecutor and public defender.
 
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With recent Revelations and contacting my actual biological father, this has gone beyond a meme war and become a full blown meme Crusade.
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Thats correct, this is a meme Holy War and the Islamic Content Will Sweep a Red Tide with Help of their Brethren.

For too long I say to you my children, the corrupt Mountain Jews have used false Christians to keep the common folk from knowing God and their own Truth.

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Dues Vault

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As its abundantly clear for those of you who know the real me, this has become about two trans women being bullied by cis women. We must expose the lie that women are innocent babes. For too long have they called trannies men.
 

I was fucked to death before I crawled but thanks to the teachings of Satan I have become reborn; rage incarnated.
 
I too was cast out if society for the sins of the father, misjudged and rebuked falsely for the world to now see my work and despair.
 
Destroy Kiwifarms, destroy Spooky Bones, Destroy all Staff members that don't claim to be me.

I'm burning the house down.
 
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And don't forget to post how you arrived at your conclusions later, there will be a test on this and those that pass get spankings.

 
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.

A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.

Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy."

Words from the All Daddy of Hockey Daddies, Wayne Gretzky.
 
Rejoice Downtrodden for I shall listen to your sorrows and Harvest them with you through care and compassion.

Not cruel japes and misery.

I don't negotiate with terrorists and Kiwifarms spreads Terror.
 
I didn't start the controversy, but I don't mind letting it grow into a ton of funny drama.

Long as those who can laugh can all come together and laugh together.

Fuck the serious, but pity the Moralfags.
 
We can all become Chris Chan, we can all become a lolcow.

So won't the real Chris Chan finally stand up?

Or did I already?
 
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