I do believe in God personally and identify as a Christian. Although I say that with some hesitancy, over the way my conduct online is perhaps not the best representation of all that a Christian could or should be.
There are a few reasons for my belief. The first is that my belief has had its ups and downs over the years, but I have always felt much more fulfilled when I have been closer to God, and have been a better version of myself. Many of my regrets in life come from the times when I've pushed God out of my mind, and many of my highest moments were the opposite. Dare I say, I've actually felt the presence of God at times. In particular was when I joined the Air Force at 18, I was really stressed out and unprepared for the challenges ahead, constantly on the fringe of failure (I was Gomer Pile basically of my flight). I lived in prayer, not just to be watched over, but to grow as a person and learn how to walk in God's path. I felt that time was transformative for me and there were several events that, in my mind, are beyond unlikely and look to me of a divine plan.
Another reason is my general skepticism and critical nature of human authority as a source of truth. Humans are fundamentally flawed and unreliable, not in a way that can be easily pointed at and identified, I'm not talking about racism or war or anything obvious like that. Our arrogance causes us to be unaware of flaws in our own understanding. We don't know what we don't know, and as such we must always challenge ourselves and what we believe. But noone does, not on a grand scale. Scientists talk about the formation of the solar system, billions of years ago, with the confidence of someone who witnessed it personally. Now to be fair, they could be right, I don't know. I maintain a level of humility that as a human being, my faculties and capacity for personal judgement are incapable of truly satisfying my intellectual need for absolute certainty. Is evolution true? (I mean as an origin for life, not that mutations and species variation that's observable is under question in my mind) I don't know if evolution is our origin, or if the big bang is true, or if the creation story in the Bible happened the way its written... or if its some kind of combination that we wouldn't expect? After all, the Genesis week talks about life forming and reads to me like the planet could have laid dormant for a time after creation... Maybe we were seeded by aliens like some people believe, engineered to evolve unnatural intelligence. I really don't think I'll ever know for sure. It takes a lot of humility to be able to accept that and not puff out my chest and proclaim that I know the truth.
Because of that humility and intellectual uncertainty, of being unimpressed with the state of scientific research and academia.. (I don't want to powerlevel too much but I do have a graduate degree, and half of a second graduate degree that I dropped out of, so I know a thing or two about both of these subjects) I find it the right choice for me to choose to believe what is best for my life. I know a lot of people think you don't understand science if you believe in God or doubt evolution, but I think the opposite is true. Scientific research is far more political and less empirical than you might think. You can justify almost anything with clever wording. There have been real coverups in our beloved Western scientific community. I'm not saying I KNOW that's the case, I'm just saying its likely enough in my mind that I consider following what we are taught at face value without question somewhat naiive.
A final reason is I do think there is some actual evidence for the Bible's authenticity. (I don't want to have a huge debate on this, but just to explain what I mean I'll give a couple examples off the top of my head). The primary one being prophecies that have come true. So many Old Testament prophesies, like in Isaiah describing Christ's persecution, whipping, and crucifixion. And of the New Testament... I believe the Gospels have a tremendous amount of credibility, just think of the context. Jesus was just KILLED by the Roman authorities. Christ's followers were persecuted by the Jews and Romans alike, many martyred. 11 of the 12 disciples were killed (John was exiled instead). They had no reason to just make something up like this, they truly believed it. They saw miracles, most importantly Christ resurrected, which caused them to wholeheartedly follow him knowingly against death itself.
So that's where I stand. I didn't want to write a novel but I ended up having a lot to say on this subject. Hope you enjoyed if you read it all and I look forward to seeing what others say.
