You WILL NOT post full images.
You WILL NOT call Null a bitch.
You WILL NOT backseat moderate.
You WILL NOT reply to troll threads.
You WILL NOT misuse lolcow terms.
You WILL NOT put spoilers in spoilers.
You WILL NOT bypass the word filters.
You WILL NOT tag Null anytime for any reason.
You WILL NOT complain about the janitors.
You WILL NOT fuck up thread titles.
You WILL NOT create double posts.
You WILL NOT post in the autistic mods thread.
You WILL NOT perform any trolling without Josh's approval.
You WILL NOT dox users.
You WILL NOT harass users.
You WILL NOT misuse the stickers.
You WILL NOT nominate yourself as a janitor.
You WILL NOT suggest new boards.
You WILL NOT ask to be unbanned from chat.
You WILL NOT talk about Neko Shotas.
You WILL NOT mention the block game.
You WILL NOT make fun of the trombone lady.
You WILL NOT post pictures of Mr. Morris.
You WILL NOT ask for your account to be deleted.
You WILL NOT post on Discord.
You WILL NOT announce your departure publicly.
You WILL NOT use the Wikihow dog as your profile picture.
You WILL NOT post gore of the ice fairy.
You WILL NOT listen to the wheelchair man.
You WILL NOT grief the Minecraft server.
You WILL NOT bully Null into becoming an international fugitive.
You WILL NOT miss the gigachad.
You WILL refer to Josh as The Dear Leader.
You WILL tell Null happy birthday on his profile.
You WILL post your threads in PG.
You WILL buy the Kiwifarms shirt.
You WILL make fun of the Onionfarms.
You WILL include your home address in the DMCA.
You WILL browse with javascript enabled.
You WILL tell the lolcow.farm admin to work with Null.
You WILL secretly and slowly edit the ED article.
You WILL report unapproved opinions.
You WILL donate $100 a month to Josh.
You WILL call Dynastia a master troll.
You WILL respect the old users.
You WILL blame Vordrak for everything.
You WILL watch MATI.
You WILL press the gamer button.
You WILL jump on the Anti-A&N bandwagon.
You WILL bring the mean girls from PULL to beauty parlor.
You WILL fill out the Cloudfare captcha.
You WILL spend $20 to use the USMC logo.
You WILL report Dunn, Kyle, and {o}P sock accounts.
You WILL link to Kiwifarms on alternative forums.
You WILL be the first to dox Dream.
You WILL calculate your Reaction Score - Post ratio.
You WILL marry a forum user for the trophies.
You WILL ask Marvin for an account on the CWCki.
You WILL call CWC a dead lolcow.
You WILL call the owner of archive.is a manchild.
You WILL follow user/KiwiNull on Reddit.
You WILL call Donald Trump a jew.
You WILL stand and fight against the banks.
You WILL freak out about Section 230
You WILL give Null a free invite to HDBits.
You WILL sacrifice yourself to the pigs.
You WILL play on the SS13 server.
You WILL help Josh find the tradwife.
You WILL become Josh's wife as a female.
You WILL refer to Null as Dad.
You WILL call Ride's name cute.
You WILL rate Null's posts every time.
You WILL become a True And Honest fan.